Because we felt nervous about the whole situation, we ended up telling her that our needs changed. My husband and I felt strongly that if she didn't listen to us on basic things, what else would she do? There was just a terrible energy, and it made us uncomfortable. Once I caught her out in the neighborhood on her cell phone with my daughter in her stroller when she should have been at home sleeping. And then I realized she was not respecting my wishes when it came to certain rules I had, like about making sure my baby was in the crib for her naps. She was moody and would often not look at me when I spoke to her. For one, it was a major personality conflict. "I had to fire the first nanny I hired to care for my daughter. "I caught her out in the neighborhood on her cell phone with my daughter in her stroller when she should have been at home sleeping." At that point, I gave them one-week's notice and let them go." –Lauren, 35, White Plains, NY When I saw something that bothered me, like when they didn't follow the nap schedule, I would bring it up, and they would actually lie about it and say they were following the instructions. When the babies started solids, one of them said to me, 'I'm nervous because I haven't done this in awhile.' So I started monitoring the nanny cam super closely while I was at work. But after the girls started sleeping through the night, and I wasn't such a zombie, it became obvious that these ladies had zero experience with infants. At first, I was open to some of the things they were doing, because I was new to the mom thing. We decided to install a nanny cam, and I realized they weren't really following my instructions. When they started, I shared the routine I had the girls on for feeding, changing, sleeping, and activity time. I found a lead - a set of sisters - through a mom group, and in desperation, I hired them on the spot. To rewind: As I was preparing to go back to work, I was having a heck of a time finding someone with twin and infant experience. I keep my girls on a rigid schedule and have an explicit set of instructions for everything - you know, so I can maintain my sanity! That proved to be a problem with my nannies. "I have twin eight-month-old girls, so it'd be fair to say I'm a neurotic first-time mom. At the end of the school year, I told her we no longer needed her services." –Andi, 32, Montclair, NJ "It became obvious these ladies had zero experience with infants." After that, she did everything she could to avoid communicating with me and would only text my husband. I talked to her about it, and told her it wasn't necessary for her to get involved with his school work beyond what his teacher assigned. My son was struggling with his reading, and even though we had a plan in place with his teachers about how to best support him, his nanny would force him to read for hours (I guess she was bookish!). So I let it go, but then things went to a whole new level. I always declined, and really started to question if she was the right fit, but a few of the moms who were often at school pick-up commented to me about how on top of it she seemed - always making sure my son was polite and held his hand crossing the street. Right off the bat, she would do things like ask to borrow my clothes or suggest we go out for dinner together. She was in her early 20s and it seemed she was more interested in becoming my friend than maintaining a professional relationship. When I first interviewed her she seemed bookish and responsible, but almost immediately after I hired her, things got weird. "After a year of working for us, I had to fire my eight-year-old son's babysitter. "She would ask to borrow my clothes and suggest we go out for dinner." The struggle was especially real for these moms who hired - and then had to fire - their OOC nannies. The whole labor and delivery process almost ( almost!) feels like a cake walk compared to having to find the right person to care for your child.
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